Stuck
by misanoe
Summary: (Chapter 5/Final Part added) This is an AU focused around Hoshi and Trip. *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

Stuck  
  
written by: Misanoe  
  
notes: this is an alternate universe in which Hoshi choose not to serve on the Enterprise or even join Starfleet. Instead, after college, she spent a few years with her feet on firm ground in search of languages to break down and decipher. Afterwards, she started teaching at a university not far from a Starfleet base, where she occasionally called upon to help translate alien languages.  
  
The students in Hoshi's class began to shift in their seats, constantly glancing at the clock. A few of them began to pack their notebooks and the sound of the zippers was beginning to distract Hoshi from her lecture. Glancing at the clock she decided to show mercy to her students and dismissed the class several minutes before the bell rang. With a flurry the students flew out of the class and Hoshi found herself in an empty classroom within thirty seconds. She began to gather her papers on her desk and didn't notice the man in Starfleet uniform quietly walk through the open door.  
  
"Professor Sato?"  
  
Hoshi glanced up expecting a stray student standing before her, surprised when she recognized his uniform. "May I help you?" She asked politely, her hands frozen over her folders.  
  
"Good afternoon Professor Sato. I am Lieutenant Matthew Lin of Starfleet."  
  
Hoshi nodded her greetings and waited patiently for him to continue.  
  
"I am here on official Starfleet business. We would appreciate it if you would accompany me to the Starfleet base."  
  
Hoshi looked at him in surprise. "Now?" Normally Starfleet phoned her secretary in advance with details when asking her to come in. "What exactly is this for?"  
  
"My assignment was only to escort you to Starfleet. No other details were given to me. You will be briefed by another officer when we get there."  
  
"I'm sorry Lieutenant. I have other obligations at the moment. My next class starts in five minutes. Perhaps I could come after my last class today. I should be done around 4:30." She responded. Gathering the rest of her materials she finished packing her bag and was about to leave for her next class when she realized Lin was still standing in front of her desk. "You're still here." She stated.  
  
"We've took the liberty of canceling the rest of your classes for the day Professor Sato." Lin interjected. "We would really appreciate if you could come with me now."  
  
Hoshi narrowed her eyes in irritation. "Starfleet does not have the authority to cancel any of my classes or intervene in my life in this manner. I am not affiliated with Starfleet in anyway and they hold no jurisdiction over me."  
  
"We apologize Professor Sato. I'm sure my superiors will be able to explain their actions to you in a much more suitable manner."  
  
Hoshi bit back a chuckle. "I'd have to go to Starfleet to complain to your superiors."  
  
"Whatever it takes to get your there." Lin grinned.  
  
Hoshi let out an over dramatic sigh. "Fine, I'll go with you." She smiled and continued. "But only because I want an apology from your superiors." She finished jokingly. "Where to driver?"  
  
"Follow me Professor Sato."  
  
***********************************  
  
When they reached the Starfleet base Hoshi continued to follow Lin, trying not to knock into the uniformed Starfleet personnel scattered about. Looking down at her apparel she felt out of place as she noticed she was the only one not in the purple jumper.  
  
"Professor Sato." Lin called out, as he paused and waited for her to catch up to him. "This way."  
  
Walking into the building Hoshi found Lin steering her towards a direction she was not used to. Normally she was immediately escorted towards the linguistic database, where she met with several other linguists.  
  
"Where are we going?" Hoshi asked Lin, as she followed him down through a doorway which led to a nearly empty corridor.  
  
"We're in an authorized personnel only section of Starfleet. I was told to escort you to meeting hall b10. I'm not sure who you will be meeting down there."  
  
"I see." Hoshi responded, wondering what exactly Starfleet wanted from her.  
  
"Here we are." Pressing a small panel at the side of the door, Lin spoke out loud. "Lieutenant Lin, with Professor Sato." Stiffly he stood with his arms behind his back as the door opened.  
  
"Enter."  
  
Hoshi followed Lin inside the room and looked around. It was considerably small and contained only a meeting table with several chairs. Her gaze stopped on the people standing in the room before her. There were two of them. An older man with a full head of hair with specks of gray appeared to be the higher ranking officer. The other had blonde hair and light blue eyes. He stood a little more relaxed then everyone else in the room, and gave her a smile as his eyes met hers.  
  
"Dismissed Lieutenant."  
  
Hoshi looked at Lin and gave him a small smile before he left the room.  
  
"Good afternoon Professor Sato." The older man said as he walked towards her. "I am Admiral Spencer and this is Commander Tucker."  
  
"Nice to meet you." She replied, sitting down in the seat Admiral Spencer held out for her. Both taking seats to face her Spencer continued.  
  
"We're sorry to inconvenience you Professor Sato, but what we need to present to you is quite urgent."  
  
"Please let me begin Admiral." Hoshi interjected. "I realize that the matter at hand must be of some importance, but I am not Starfleet personnel nor do I wish to be. I am an educator and have other obligations that come before Starfleet. It is not appropriate for Starfleet to interfere with my schedule." Hoshi paused to give both men a reprimanding stare. "If Starfleet is in need of my expertise I will be happy to oblige as long as Starfleet remembers my time is my own."  
  
"I apologize Professor Sato." Spencer replied after a thoughtful pause.  
  
Hoshi smiled. "Now, what do you need me for?"  
  
"Professor Sato, several months ago we sent the first human star ship into space."  
  
"I remember, it was in the news everywhere. The Enterprise if I'm not mistaken."  
  
"You are not," Spencer replied. "The Enterprise was sent out as an exploration vessel. The purpose was to meet with other species and make new friends so to speak. The linguist assigned to the Enterprise was Ensign Brandon Wells."  
  
"Yes, I remember him. He graduated fourth in my class. Has something happened to Brandon?" Hoshi asked with concern.  
  
"Ensign Wells is on the vessel Enterprise and doing quite well. As you know Starfleet designed a universal translator in the hopes of being able to understand other life forms. As a precaution, a linguist was sent with the Enterprise if the translator were to run into any problems."  
  
Hoshi nodded, remembering how she had been offered the job a year ago.  
  
"You were our first choice and we were regretful when you did not accept the assignment."  
  
Commander Tucker looked at Hoshi in surprise when he heard Spencer reveal that piece of information. He had always assumed that Ensign Wells had been first choice. That anyone could refuse an assignment on the first starship was news to him.  
  
"The translator was only a prototype and after being used by the Enterprise, we realize that it is not nearly sophisticated enough to translate most of the languages we encounter. The Enterprise has come to rely solely on Ensign Wells. While he has performed adequately, we wish to ensure the safety of the Enterprise. We are about to start the process of updating the old translator, which afterwards should be able to adapt to new languages quicker and with higher accuracy."  
  
It began to dawn on Hoshi why she was brought to Starfleet. "You want me to help update the translator." Hoshi stated.  
  
Spencer nodded. "You are still Starfleet's first choice Professor Sato. We've had our eye on you since you were brought in and deciphered what our linguists could not."  
  
"Klingon." Hoshi replied.  
  
"Correct. We hope that you would consider collaborating with Commander Tucker for the next few months. He is one of the best engineers we have."  
  
Hoshi sat there thoughtfully before asking, "How big of a part would I play Admiral? At the moment I have other commitments and the time I could donate is limited."  
  
"We understand that the school quarter should be done within the next month. We hoped that you would work part time, reviewing the work of the other linguists for that month, afterwards taking the next quarter off so you could head the linguistic department."  
  
"It would be better suited if I were able to work part time throughout the course of this project. Then I wouldn't have to take time off at the school."  
  
"We would prefer if you would head the linguistic department Professor Hoshi. You have an ear for languages that is uncommon in most people. It would be a great service to Starfleet and exploration if you would lend your talent for several months."  
  
Hoshi mentally sighed in her head. He was playing the guilt card. "Give me a night to think about it Admiral Spencer. My decision has the ability to wreak havoc with my life." She replied wryly.  
  
Commander Tucker gave a small smile at the response, having sat quietly throughout the whole conversation.  
  
"Of course Professor Sato." Spencer stood up, the other's following suit. "We will be awaiting your decision." Holding out his hand Hoshi grasped it and gave him a firm shake. "In the meantime, why doesn't Commander Tucker brief you on what the assignment will be like, should you choose to accept. Do you have the time Commander?" Spencer asked.  
  
Commander Tucker stood there and nodded. "I'll show Sato her quarters and the work area."  
  
Hoshi lifted her eyebrow. Quarters?  
  
"With that settled, good day Professor Sato, Commander." Spencer said before stepping out of the room.  
  
Hoshi watched Spencer walk out of the room before turning around to face Tucker. "So." She smiled. "Where to?"  
  
******************************************  
  
"And this over here would be your quarters if you decided to head the linguistic department." Hoshi followed Tucker into the room and nearly gasped. It didn't seem as impersonal as she thought the quarters in Starfleet would be.  
  
"Wow. If I knew that Starfleet quarters were like this I might have gone on the Enterprise."  
  
Tucker grinned. "Trust me, the quarters on the Enterprise look nothing like this."  
  
Hoshi looked at him questioningly.  
  
"Let's just say Starfleet likes to bribe," Tucker gave a fake cough, his eyes twinkling mischievously, "Oh did I say bribe? I meant Starfleet likes to treat their head linguists well."  
  
Hoshi chuckled as she looked around. "I take it I would be sorely disappointed if I did join the Enterprise."  
  
"The quarters would be a nice shock. But hey, by then you'd be in space so what are you going to do?" He joked. "All joking aside, I should have held out like you did. This room was specifically designed for you."  
  
Hoshi looked at Tucker in surprise. "For me?"  
  
"Yup. It must have been quite a shocker when you turned down the linguist post. The probably thought being on the first spaceship itself would be an inducement enough. This time they're taking no risks and bringing out the big guns. They're even willing to jump you over ensign to a lower officer ranking."  
  
"They must really want that translator." Hoshi replied as she followed Tucker outside of the room.  
  
Tucker shrugged. "It's gotten pretty hectic up there." He said, pointing his finger towards the ceiling. "Ensign Wells is barely handling all the pressure. I think the stress is beginning to get to him."  
  
Hoshi looked at Tucker in surprise who shrugged in response.  
  
"He's a good linguist, but from what I've heard, you're better."  
  
"I graduated second in my class Commander." Hoshi answered, "There's always someone better."  
  
"True. I guess Starfleet just wants the best, and their knocking on your door. Not the one who was first in your class."  
  
"How do you know how Brandon is holding up?" Hoshi asked, curious about her former classmate.  
  
"I was on the Enterprise until a week ago." Tucker answered. "I miss it up there."  
  
Hoshi smiled wryly. "A tin bucket hurtling through space. Not really my idea of fun."  
  
Tucker looked at her in surprise. "I guess it seems a little dangerous." He paused when Hoshi snorted and smiled. "It's like an adventure out there, the new planets, the people. Space, with infinite-"  
  
"Possibilities." Hoshi finished. "Jonathon Archer went on that spiel when he tried to get me to sign on as crew."  
  
"You know Jon?"  
  
"Barely. He kept following me around leaving messages everywhere I went. Space, the final frontier."  
  
Tucker grinned at the overused phrase. "Didn't convince you huh."  
  
Hoshi shook her head. "I had other things I wanted to do. If I have the need later on, space will still be there."  
  
Tucker nodded in agreement. "That's true, but you won't be the first."  
  
Hoshi smiled. "I thought I would manage. And I did." She paused and continued, "I actually suggested Jonathon to contact Brandon. If what you say is true," She gave him a sidelong glance, "Not that I'm saying your lying to me, I feel slightly responsible for his predicament."  
  
"Wells will survive." Tucker reassured her. "He just needs to get used to it out there."  
  
They walked in silence for a while, both reflecting on their very different perspectives of Brandon Wells.  
  
"You seem really excited about space travel." Hoshi cut in. "What are you doing on earth?"  
  
Tucker grinned ruefully, "Believe me it wasn't my idea. They dragged me off Enterprise kicking and screaming the entire way. They needed an engineer for this project. I was first choice. Have to keep my feet and solid ground until I'm done."  
  
"You must have been disappointed."  
  
"It's not so bad anymore." He replied, giving her a flirtatious wink which caused Hoshi to burst out in laughter. Tucker placed his hands to his heart and pulled out an imaginary dagger. "Ow."  
  
"Oh I'm very sorry Commander." Hoshi replied jovially, "What I meant to say was it'll be very hard for me to keep my hands off of you."  
  
"Well, you better try Professor," Tucker grinned. "I'm a man spoken for."  
  
Hoshi lifted the back of her right palm to her forehead and gave a mock feint, "I'm so devastated, I don't think I'll ever recover." Catching the glance of a cute uniformed Starfleet officer walking past them in the hallway, she gave him a little smile then looked up at Trip. "Feeling all better now."  
  
Tucker burst out laughing. "I think I'm going to enjoy working with you Professor Sato."  
  
"I haven't yet decided if I want to work here Commander Tucker." Hoshi replied.  
  
"Call me Trip." He responded, bringing out his right hand to shake her hand.  
  
"Hoshi." 


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2  
  
"Hello Admiral Spencer." Hoshi said to the telescreen.  
  
"Professor Sato." The small image of Spencer replied. "Have you made a decision?"  
  
"I have a few questions before I commit myself to anything." Hoshi answered.  
  
"Please continue."  
  
"First of all, I was wondering if I would be considered official Starfleet personnel if I were take this job."  
  
"While you worked with Starfleet, yes you would. We would start you out as Chief Linguist in the Linguistic Department."  
  
"Since it's only temporary I don't have to go through Starfleet training, am I correct?"  
  
"Since you would be working for Starfleet on a temporary basis and the station you will be head of is located on Earth and will never go into space, we see no reason for you to undergo formal training." Spencer paused and continued, "The training camp is slightly severe and over the course of five months."  
  
Hoshi nodded thoughtfully. They were probably aware that she wasn't willing to spend the next five months of her life in a training camp. "Since I would be temporary personnel, I'd rather I had no rank Admiral, and be seen as a temporary Linguist rather then an officer."  
  
"That's fine." Spencer replied.  
  
"Yesterday Commander Tucker was showing me quarters, I'm not sure why that is necessary Admiral. I do have a residence several blocks away."  
  
"Since the universal translator is one of our top priorities, we'd like to have our higher ranking officers close at hand for last minute decisions or any other problems."  
  
"So I'll be living, breathing, eating, my job."  
  
"We believe that this method will yield effective results."  
  
"I see." Hoshi answered. "And finally, the most important question." Hoshi continued, "Do I have to wear the purple jumper?"  
  
Admiral Spencer let out a chuckle before he was able to contain himself and answered, "I'm sorry Professor Sato, but the Starfleet uniform is standard. But if you decide to join, I'll see if there is anything we can do to accommodate your request."  
  
Hoshi smiled. Trip was right, she thought to herself. It was better to hold out. Okay, stop harassing the man and give him an answer, she berated herself.  
  
"When do I start?"  
  
"We'll have an escort pick you up after your last class on Monday." Admiral Spencer smiled. "Welcome aboard."  
  
***********************************************  
  
"So you did join." A voice called behind Hoshi, who was currently very lost and looking for her post.  
  
"Trip?" Turning around she saw Tucker behind her, trying to catch up.  
  
"Hoshi." He replied breathlessly when he reached her.  
  
She smiled, "I thought why not. I don't need a social life."  
  
"Don't worry." Tucker grinned. "When I'm around you don't need a social life."  
  
"Ah, I see," Hoshi answered, "So much to look forward to, how can I bear it?" She finished dryly, lifting an eyebrow.  
  
Tucker gave a small chuckle and walked beside Hoshi. "Where you off to?"  
  
"At this moment?" Hoshi asked giving him a helpless shrug, "Nowhere."  
  
"Lost?"  
  
"Very."  
  
"Lucky you ran into me."  
  
"I didn't run into you." Hoshi answered cheekily, "You ran after me."  
  
"You linguists and your semantics," Trip dramatically sighed.  
  
Hoshi stopped walking and turned to face Trip in exasperation. "That's it. Where am I going?"  
  
"If you keep heading straight and turn that corner in front of us, you'll be at the West entrance."  
  
"What?" Hoshi walked to the corner while Trip tagged along, and nearly screamed in frustration when she saw the large glass doors she had entered through an hour ago.  
  
"How?" She moaned. "When? Why?"  
  
Trip chuckled. "Do you have anywhere specific you need to be right now?" Trip asked.  
  
"No," She sighed, "I was just trying to get a feel of things. And right now I feel very lost."  
  
"Look on the bright side." He replied. "At least you now know where the West entrance is."  
  
"I don't even know where that is." She muttered. "I'm supposed to be in a completely different wing right now."  
  
"Here, why don't I take you to the messhall and we can get a late lunch. Afterwards I'll take you anywhere you want to go." He looked at her. "Have you eaten?"  
  
"Not yet." She answered, "Lead away."  
  
  
  
"So you've been with Natalie for 7 years?" Hoshi asked in awe. "So long."  
  
Trip gave an easy mannered laugh and shrugged. "We were high school sweethearts. It was on and off for a while, but I think we've got it right."  
  
Hoshi sat back in her chair and sighed wistfully. "I've only been past three months once. My sister swears I'm flighty."  
  
Trip chewed thoughtfully on his scrambled eggs as Hoshi continued.  
  
"And in the past year I've been out on 2 dates only. I'm beginning to feel like a nun."  
  
Trip nearly choked on his food. "Two?" Opening his mouth he tried to keep a straight face. "Hoshi, I don't think Starfleet is going to cut into your social life."  
  
Hoshi made a face at him. "I know, I know. And to make things more pathetic, both times was with another professor at the university."  
  
"What happened?" Trip asked.  
  
"Nothing obviously." She retorted, before continuing. "On the second date I began to realize he talked an awful lot about his ex girlfriend Megan."  
  
"Ouch."  
  
"Yeah. Tell me about it. It's not that it hurt or anything. I didn't know him long enough to really care, it was just disconcerting. Here I am sitting in front of him while he bawls into his napkin wondering if I'm going to spend the rest of my life as the 'rebound' girl. I knew more about his relationship with Megan than I ever wanted to." Mixing her soda with her straw she continued, "Finally I got so tired of him rambling on about how much he missed her I told him to stop whining and go beg for her forgiveness already."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And he did. Borrowed my communicater and called her up at the dinner table with me right in front of him." Hoshi began to imitate him in a high falsetto voice, "I miss you snookums, I'm so sorry. Boohoo boohoo."  
  
"Snookums?"  
  
Hoshi shuddered. "Yeah, it was pretty disturbing." Picking up her fork, she speared a piece of bacon and brought it to her mouth. A lull in the conversation followed as both began to eat their food.  
  
"Are you?" Trip wondered out loud after several minutes of silence.  
  
"Am I what?" She asked in confusion.  
  
"Flighty."  
  
She tilted her head to the side and thought for a moment, a disheartening shadow passing briefly across her delicate features. "No." She answered softly, her eyes not focusing on any one thing, her mind remembering things past. "I'm not."  
  
Tactfully Trip didn't answer, allowing Hoshi personal space to think. He recognized the expression on her face, and knew there was nothing he could do to help. He had once wore the same face when he found out Natalie had been with someone else on one of their "off" moments. It hurt but he got over it. And with time, he knew Hoshi would also heal. He smiled when an image of Natalie came to mind. God she was beautiful. He didn't think he could ever get tired of seeing that face in his head.  
  
*******************************************  
  
3 months later  
  
"Why are you always so angry at me?" Trip muttered in frustration following Natalie as she stormed about her apartment.  
  
Turning around to confront him she stuck her finger out accusingly at him. "Are you cheating on me?" She demanded.  
  
"What?" Trip asked in shock.  
  
"You heard me the first time." She shouted. "You're always with her." She spat out the word her, as thought it were distasteful to her mouth.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Trip asked. "I've always been faithful to you." He emphasized the word always, ignoring the dirty look Natalie threw at him.  
  
"And that girl you're always with? I've seen you two talking together. How she looks at you. How you look at her. And you live in the same place. Probably to be together without me knowing." She muttered.  
  
"Are you delusional?" Trip nearly shouted, frustrated with Natalie's constant attempts to provoke him. "You know we're working on the translator. She's the head linguist, I'm the head engineer. Of course we're going to talk. And another thing, you know it's a requirement for me to live on Starfleet base. Hoshi and I are not even in the same building."  
  
Natalie winced as she heard Trip mention her name. "So that's all you are?" She asked in a voice implying they were much more. "Work colleague?"  
  
"No, that's not all we are." He answered trying to keep his emotions under control. "We're friends. Much less then you and Eddie."  
  
Natalie looked at him in surprise. "How do you-" She stopped herself from finishing the sentence but it didn't matter anymore.  
  
Silence reigned supreme and a long held suspicion was answered. "I can't believe you." Trip muttered, grabbing his jacket to leave her apartment.  
  
"Where are you going." Natalie asked from the corner of her living room.  
  
"I'm fed up with your bullshit Natalie and at the moment I really can't stand the sight of you." He replied. "So I'm going out, far away somewhere where your bloodthirsty claws can't reach my heart."  
  
"You fucking asshole. You always run away." He heard her scream after him as he walked down her stairs.  
  
  
  
Hoshi had spent most of the night going over the work of the other linguists, correcting any mistakes that she found. This is teaching all over again she sighed to herself as she corrected another simple mistake. Many of the flaws she found were minor, but even she knew that they would all add up and severely cut down the efficiency of the translator.  
  
Miserably glancing at the clock, the numbers 4:23am chirped back at her, making her want to lie down and die. Glancing at the pile of data pads in front of her she had yet to go through, she had the urge to cry.  
  
Her body demanded sleep but she compromised for a quick break and coffee. Getting up she stretched her arms and wearily walked out her door towards the messhall.  
  
  
  
Stumbling towards her quarters Hoshi cursed as some of the hot coffee spilled on her hand. Even after two cups of coffee her gaze was still fuzzy and the floor seemed to move on it's own accord. Two hours she muttered to herself. Just two hours she mentally tried to convince herself as she walked through her door. Too tired to turn the light on she blindly walked towards her desk and set her coffee cup down.  
  
Heading towards her bathroom she opened the door and flicked the weak light on. Standing in front of the sink, she twisted the tap and cupped her hands together to form a small bowl, letting the icy water fill her improv bowl. Splashing the water on her face she ignored the water trickling down her skin and looked in the mirror. Dark under eye circles marred her pale skin and she convinced herself that taking two tiny small hours for a nap wouldn't hurt production.  
  
Yawning she stepped out of her bathroom and walked towards her dresser where she kept her night clothes, pulling down the zipper on her uniform on the way there. Slipping it off her shoulders she let it fall to her waist and pulled off her under shirt, standing their with uniform half on and her bra. Opening her dresser she clumsily rummaged for her hideous bright yellow oversized shirt she had received as a gift many years ago. It was ugly as hell but as Hoshi found out, very comfortable and just big enough to work as a nightgown.  
  
Oblivious to everything around her, her hand landed on a soft piece of fabric and she gleefully grabbed it. Found it she thought to herself as she pulled it out.  
  
A low whistle floated through the air. "There really is no accounting for taste is there."  
  
Hoshi spun around startled, the shirt still in her hand as she made out the outline of Trip in the dim light filtering through from the bathroom. Grabbing the shirt protectively in front of her chest Hoshi stepped forward to make sure. "What are you doing here Trip?" She demanded tightening the grip on her shirt when she saw him step out of the shadow. Blushing as she noticed his eyes blatantly trailing down her body.  
  
Snapping his head up startled, as he heard her voice he had the good graces to blush and give her a sheepish grin. "I knocked?" He offered hopefully as he saw her glare. His eyes were bleak and he looked like shit, the halfhearted smile on his face making him seem even more pathetic.  
  
Sighing Hoshi told Trip to turn around. Quickly she put on her shirt before letting him turn back and face her. Grabbing her chair to face the bed, she motioned him to sit in her chair as she plopped down in her own bed. One hour, she promised herself. I'll sleep for one hour.  
  
After several minutes of studying him, Hoshi broke the silence. "What's wrong Trip?"  
  
"Natalie, Eddie." He croaked and Hoshi instantly understood.  
  
Trip didn't explain anything to her but he didn't need to. Lately he had been distracted with Natalie's friend Eddie, and although he never voiced any suspicions to Hoshi, she had her own doubts and she was sure that Trip shared them.  
  
"How did you find out?" She asked in what she hoped was a comforting voice.  
  
"We had an argument today." He replied. "She accused me of cheating on her."  
  
Hoshi looked at him in surprise, Trip was, well Trip. In the past few months Trip had become a close friend, and she knew no as loyal as him. Undeserved loyalty she thought to herself as she thought of Natalie. "You? Cheating on her? That's ridiculous. I bet you've never even had a disloyal thought about her before." Hoshi replied.  
  
"She thought you and I-"  
  
"Oh." Hoshi answered, seriously in shock. She had never thought of Trip in that way. From the beginning she knew he was taken. He loved Natalie. And she never touched men that were taken, no one ever won in those types of situations. She knew from firsthand experience. "Surely she knows that you and I have never even thought about each other in a non friendly manner." Hoshi continued. "We're friends. Really, really good friends." Looking at the past few months, she knew deep down that the closeness they shared did seem slightly suspicious. The whispers that followed them were speculative yet many.  
  
Trip broke her thoughts with his guilty words. "I have."  
  
Hoshi looked at him in surprise.  
  
"I would have never acted on them. I love Natalie," He continued. "But- I look at you sometimes when we work, and I just think in the back of my head for split seconds; maybe." Burying his head in his hands he mumbled to himself, "I'm no better then Natalie."  
  
"No." Hoshi forcefully said. "I can't even began to describe how you're much better then Natalie. Occasional thoughts of other people are normal. It's acting on them that puts a person in the wrong." She said her voice full of conviction. Reaching towards Trip, she rested on her knees in front of him and grasped both of his hands with her own. Looking up to stare him full on in the face she continued. "You are a good person Trip. One of the best, and nothing you did makes you responsible for Natalie's actions. Nothing. It's not your fault, it's not mine. It's their fault, they choose to cheat."  
  
Trip's eyes dawned with realization. Hoshi had always refused to talk about the one. The one guy she had been with for over three months. The one that made her retreat into herself, refusing the advances of other men.  
  
Staring at the delicate figure before him, her face tilted up towards him filled with concern. For himself he realized. I could fall in love with you so easily he said softly Hoshi barely heard him. Her eyes grew round as his words sunk through and did not bother to try and stop him as he slowly leaned forward to kiss her. 


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3  
  
I am not the rebound girl, I am not the rebound girl, Hoshi continously chanted to herself as Trip's face drew down close and closer towards her own. Nope, not a rebound, she continued as his lips descended on hers and he softly kissed her. Stop him, a tiny voice cried out as she felt Trip reach for the zipper at the waist while he pushed her gently down on the floor, never once removing the hand from the small of her waist. You're the rebound her insecurities whispered. No, I'm not she protested to herself. I'm not the rebound. Trip began to nuzzle her neck, and she tried to fully enjoy the sensations she was feeling from his soft kisses trailing down her throat.  
  
A loud ring resonated in the air and Hoshi lifted her head slightly to look towards her door.  
  
"They'll go away after a while." Trip whispered in her ear, his hands creating wonderful sensations all over her body. Leaning her head back down against the floor she stared up at the ceiling, various jumbled around in her head; the buzzing of her door becoming one constant high pitched wail.  
  
"Hoshi?"  
  
Oblivious to Trip's voice, Hoshi continued to stare at the ceiling, focusing on the loud ringing to keep herself occupied. Trying to prevent herself from thinking too hard of how this would affect their friendship. If she thought about it, she would have to do the "right" thing and stop him. She didn't think she had the willpower to do so.  
  
"Er, Hoshi?" Trip repeated, stopping everything to hover over her face, while she stared vacantly at the ceiling. "Hoshi!"  
  
Switching her gaze to his face, disorientated she blinked several times before giving his confused face a sheepish grin.  
  
"Am I really that bad?" Trip joked.  
  
"Doorbell." Hoshi tried to explain, a loud buzz at the instant ringing out clearly to emphasize her point.  
  
"Damnit." Trip cursed under his breath as the ringer went on and off, again and again. Pointing his finger at her he uttered, "Don't move and inch" before heaving himself off of her and sprinting towards her door. The sooner he answered the door, he figured the sooner they would leave and he could get back to doing pleasant things with Hoshi.  
  
Glancing back at her quickly before opending the door, he grinned to himself as he saw her lying there humming to herself in a language he did not undersatnd. Her dark hair sprawled on the floor framing her face. Impatiently he opened the door and curtly asked "What," before he got a good look at the visitor.  
  
"I knew you'd be here." Natalie accused him as soon as she barged into Hoshi's quarters uninvated. Scanning the room with a critical eye, she did not look suprised to see Hoshi lying half naked on the floor, cheeks flushed and hair mussed.  
  
Trip followed Natalie's gaze to Hoshi and tried to repress a feeling of guilt.  
  
"Trip?" Hoshi called out unknowingly, breaking the akward silence. "Who is it?"  
  
"It's Charlie's girlfriend." Natalied spat out venemously from the front of the door way.  
  
As soon as Hoshi heard that voice, she shot up like a rocket. Not good, not good, she repeated in her head as she realized to her dismay that Trip had zipped down the rest of her uniform, and it was now slipping down her hips into a small puddle on the floor, now standing in the middle of her room with only a bright yellow shirt on. Grabbing the first thing she saw, she threw her blanket across her shoulders, letting it drape down the floor to cover her from neck to toe.  
  
"Er, hi Natalie." Hoshi stuttered, feeling at the moment much like the "other" woman who had just been caught in bed with someone elses husband.  
  
"Hoshi." She replied coldly. Turning around to face Trip who had been trying not to stare at Hoshi's legs, she softened her voice. "I need to talk to you Charlie."  
  
Looking at her defiantly Trip remembered that he was angry at Natalie.  
  
"There's nothing to talk about." He replied. "It's over. The door is that way."  
  
"No." She stated. "I'm not leaving until you listen to me. You need to understand. There's more you need to know."  
  
Trip looked at her doubtfully then glanced at Hoshi a question in his eye. Standing there wrapped in her blankey she mutely nodded and gave him a feeble smile.  
  
"You wanna talk? Fine talk." Trip stood there waiting for Natalie to speak.  
  
Looking over her shoulder to give Hoshi a frosty glare, she stood silently and began to tap her feet.  
  
"I'm going to step out for awhile." Hoshi volunteered, catching the cue from Natalie to leave. Before Trip could protest she walked to her desk and grabbed several pads. "Really, I have some stuff I need to do. You guy's can talk in here."  
  
"No-Hoshi wait." Trip tried to argue but Hoshi had made up her mind and was adamant. She paddled to the door and quietly let herself out without looking back. Moving to follow her, Trip found himself held back by a small hand with a vicelike grip on his arm. Sighing in resignation Trip stopped and turned around to face Natalie. "Shoot."  
  
"I don't really know where to start." Natalie hesitated. "It's complicated Charlie. I never meant for anything to happen. You were gone on your little star ship thing and you left me all alone. I got lonely."  
  
Trip snorted at the word lonely, a look of disbelief on his face.  
  
"I was only with Eddie once, and like I said you had been gone for several months. You barely sent me any messages, you became distant. I felt neglected."  
  
A small creeping feeling of guilt began to creep into Trip's stomach. It was true that he had left Natalie alone on earth to pursue his own dreams, discarding what she had wanted. And the months on the Enterprise had been so exciting, he rarely thought much of keeping in touch with Natalie. His time was usually filled with things to do.  
  
"I don't blame you." She continued. "I know that this was something you really wanted to do. Shouldn't you at least forgive me?" She pleaded. "I love you. Are you just going to throw seven years away." Grabbing his hand she lifted it to her cheek and trailed it down to her mouth so she could kiss his fingers. Looking up at him her eyes grew misty, "Are you just going to throw me away?"  
  
Hoshi's bare feet enabled her to steathily walk through the corriders of her building. She knew she looked ridiculous but she hadn't really been thinking about her slippers, or come to think about it, a set of clothing when she walked out of her room. Distracted she continued to walk, ignoring the strange looks she was receiving from the other nocturnal officers.  
  
Looking for a secluded corner to hide in and get the rest of her work done, she settled for a small lounge sofa in the lobby. Huddling the sheet closer to her she began to scan her pads once more, reading the same paragraph over and over, unable to comprehend the data before her.  
  
Reluctantly she found herself thinking of Trip. "I wonder what he's doing right now?"  
  
"What am I supposed to do Natalie?" Trip questioned. "What do you want me to do?"  
  
"Give us another chance Charlie." She uttered. "We can make it work."  
  
"What about tonight?"  
  
"What about tonight?" Natalie repeated. "Oh that." She answered as she realized Trip was talking about himself and that girl. "Tic for tac I guess. You were angry, you wanted to get even. I can forget it."  
  
Throwing herself in Trip's arms she kissed him firmly on the lips. "It's going to work." She murmoured in his ear. "We'll make it work."  
  
"Right." Trip responded listlessly. Trying to figure out what it was he really wanted. Looking at Natalie before him, he remembered all the times that they had spent together. The love they shared. Cautiously he drew his arms around her waist and held on to her. They could make it work, he thought to himself. He still wanted that family, and in his mind Natalie had always been a part of it.  
  
Drawing back from his grasp Natalie gave Trip a seductive smile. "Let's get out of here."  
  
Giving her a grin, Trip nodded. "Actually wait, let me leave Hoshi a note."  
  
Natalie stopped herself from protesting and pasted a understanding smile on her face. She would give allowances today. It didn't matter that he was going to leave her a little note. In the end, he was hers.  
  
"I'll wait for you outside."  
  
"Yeah." Watching Natalie leave, Trip rummaged through the top of Hoshi's desk searching for something he could use to leave a message. His hand stopped on a picture frame and picking it up he stared at a grinning Hoshi, a mishevious twinkle in her eyes. "I don't know if I can forget," he said aloud to the picture in his hand. Putting the picture down, he hesitated and picked it up once more. Opening the back of the frame, he took the picture out and put it in his pocket before making his way out of her room.  
  
*****************************  
  
"Hey stranger." Hoshi greeted Trip as he walked towards her table. Scooting aside, she patted the chair next to her. "I havn't seen you outside of work for a while."  
  
"Hey Hoshi." He replied. Setting his lunch tray down he sat next to her. "How you been?"  
  
"Me?" She asked, tilting her head to stare at him. "I've been good. You?"  
  
Trip gave her a lukewarm smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "I'm good."  
  
"Natalie?" Hoshi questioned cautiously.  
  
"Yeah. She's good too." He replied listlessly. Giving her a forced grin he quickly changed the subject. "Have you decided what you're going to do after the translator's done?"  
  
Concerned with his unusual behavior, Hoshi was about to open her mouth to speak before deciding better of it. Giving him a small chuckle she went along with his diversion. "Not you too." She groaned. "How many more people am I going to have to tell that I don't want a permanent job at Starfleet? I'm very happy with both feet on solid ground."  
  
Trip shook his head ruefully and gave her a real grin that made Hoshi feel warm inside. "There's no convincing you is there?"  
  
"Me? Nah. To many thing for me to do here. So," She asked nonchantly. "I guess you're heading straight back to the Enterprise as soon as your work here is done."  
  
"Yeah." He answered without much conviction, his face taking a troubled expression. "I guess."  
  
Hoshi looked at him strangely. "You don't sound very excited. I remember the first few months we worked together all you could talk about was going back. What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." He replied briskly. "I'm dandy."  
  
"Sure." She answered. Placing her hand gently on his shoulder, Hoshi gave him a piercing gaze, trying to gauge his emotions. "Tell me what's wrong."  
  
Trip looked at her, about to speak.  
  
"Hoshi?"  
  
Hoshi froze when she heard that familier voice. Forgetting Trip she turned around very slowly. Viewing the person behind her, she sat their dumbly until he continued.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Hi there. I'm commander Tucker." Trip intervened, extending his hand out to the intruder that was staring intently at Hoshi. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Jason." He answered back, shaking Trip's hand with an easygoing air. "Hoshi's fiancee."  
  
Trip gawked and stared back at Hoshi, who was still very motionless. Suddenly she snapped her head out of her daze and glared at Jason.  
  
"Why?" Was all she was about to force out of her throat, the dozens of things she had wanted to tell him all evaporating into thin air now that he was before her.  
  
From what Trip heard, Hoshi had just asked why. Why what? Looking back at Jason, he felt like an outsider when he realized that Jason knew what Hoshi was talking about.  
  
"Does it matter anymore?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Sticking his hand in his pocket he pulled out a small ring. "Yours."  
  
Looking down at it in shock, she lifted her head back up to look at him with confusion.  
  
"Here." He prodded, holding out the ring closer to her. Hesitently her hand plucked the ring out of his fingers and held it up to take a closer insepection. Entranced she twisted it, the small diamond chip catched a ray of light and a brilliance of colors spraying over the table. A look of awe grew on her face, at the exact moment a feeling of doom spreading throughout Trip. "You remembered."  
  
"I never forgot." Taking her hand, he took the ring and placed it on her left forefinger. "I bought this the day I met you. I always knew I wanted you to be my wife."  
  
"Right." She answered, her voice full of doubt. "I haven't seen you in a year, then you decide to pop out of no where while I'm working to tell me that you've always loved me, and the girl you left me for was apparently not the one."  
  
"That was the biggest mistake I've ever made. You don't know how sorry I am about that."  
  
"I don't know because you never told me." She replied. Taking the ring off her finger she considered throwing it at him. "You take this, and you leave. I am not, and I will never be your wife, fiancee, mate, significant other or even girlfriend." Turning around she picked up her fork and began to vicously stab her potato.  
  
Trip watched the indecision play on Jason's face. "I'll come back later Hoshi."  
  
She answered with a loud snap, the sound of her plastic fork shattering into two. Studying Hoshi's back, Jason turned around and began to walk away.  
  
Angrily throwing the fork away, she grabbed her plastic knife and began to demolish the items in her plate while muttering curses to herself in a foreign language.  
  
"Er, Hoshi." Trip interuppted after several minutes.  
  
"What?" She snapped at him, as he persisted in calling her name. "I'm trying to eat here." Glaring at him, the plastic knife was still in her hand, now pointed towards him.  
  
"Woah," He responded, holding both hands up in a sign of peace. "I surrender."  
  
Looking down in confusion she noticed what she was holding and sat their silently before breaking out into a small giggle. "You had better surrender, I'm a small angry woman with a plastic knife." She retorted playfully. "Very dangerous."  
  
Trip grinned, happy to see smile. "I never doubted it."  
  
Giving him an apologetic grin, Hoshi spoke up, "I'm sorry Trip. I don't mean to take out my anger on you."  
  
"It's alright." He replied. "Seeing you with that knife is kinda a turn on." He teased.  
  
Lifting an eyebrow she dryly stated, "I'm not going to dignify that comment with a response." Sitting in silence, Trip patiently gave Hoshi time think. "Well, this was a big suprise." She continued. "I didn't think I would ever see him again."  
  
"Who was he?" Trip asked, curiosity gaining the best of him.  
  
"Jason?" She asked. "He was my, my boyfriend?"  
  
"Not your fiancee?"  
  
Hoshi smiled bitterly. "I guess I always assumed that we would get married someday, everyone did. It just wasn't official. But no, he never asked those four words." Shrugging to herself she looked down dejectedly and continued. "Later when he broke up with me I was shocked. I thought things were going well. That it was going to happen anyday now. He was just trying to find the right way to do. I made up so many excuses for him. Apparently he had found the 'one', and she wasn't me. He had been cheating on me with her. Met her at some club and didn't want to throw me away just yet. Not until he was sure."  
  
"And then?"  
  
"And then out I went. He hurt me, he really did. For a time I couldn't even go outside I was so depressed." She paused, searching for words to adequately express herself.  
  
"But."  
  
Hoshi smiled. "But that's not what disturbs me now. Most of my feelings for him are gone. It was how I was when he broke up with me that really makes me feel stupid. I was so pathetic, I would have done anything to get him back. I almost tried everything to get him back. Seeing him, it just brings back a lot of humiliating memories."  
  
Trip chuckled, "Hoshi, there's not much people won't do in the name of love."  
  
"Yeah well, seeing him suprised me. Brought up some bad memories. To tell you the truth I think I should be grateful. In the end it was good for me."  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"Yeah," She nodded, "I really do. I was with Jason for so long I was beginning to forget where he ended and I started. I began to change for him, restrict myself. Gradually he took priority in my life and my friends, family, ambition, they were all put on the back burner."  
  
Trip sat there taking in all she said, several of the issues she brang up struck a chord within him.  
  
"When I was forced to give him up cold turkey, it was like a splash of cold water hit me straight in the face. Instead of being Jason and Hoshi, it was just Hoshi. I found out I like Hoshi."  
  
"So do I."  
  
Her expression lightened and she smiled gratefully at him. "I like you too Trip." Looking at him carefully, she pointedly added, "I learned my life did not have to revolve around him. How to stand on my own two feet again."  
  
Trip stared at her guiltily and confessed under her intense scrutiny. "Natalie wants me to move in with her after I finish the transporter project."  
  
"What?" Hoshi asked in suprise. "But you'll be on the Enterprise." Looking at the droop in his shoulders and the circles under his eyes, understanding dawned on her face. "She wants you to leave the Enterprise."  
  
Trip refused to answer.  
  
"But you love the Enterprise."  
  
"I love Natalie."  
  
"You're going to do it aren't you."  
  
"What else can I do?"  
  
"You can tell her you've decided to go back to the Enterprise. That you love her, but your life does not revolve around her."  
  
"I can't, she wouldn't understand."  
  
"Trip, listen to me. This is important." Her gaze was strong and unyeilding as she continued. "I know you. And I know you love the Enterprise. Your heart is up there, you belong there and if she can't understand that, maybe you should take a closer look at the relationship between you guys. Don't make the mistake I did."  
  
Half heartedly listening to her, his ears perked up with interest.  
  
"It should have been me on the Enterprise as the first linguist in space."  
  
"But you were given the offer-" Trip questioned.  
  
"Yes I was. And if he really loved me, he wouldn't have let himself block my chance to explore the new languages out there. Think about it Trip."  
  
"Right." 


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4  
  
"You're not going to like what I say, but you're going to have to hear me out anyways." Came out of Trip's mouth as soon as he entered through her door.  
  
"Honey?" Natalie asked from her couch, lifting a delicate eyebrow in response to his sudden outburst.  
  
"Alright. This is how it is. I realize that you want us to move in together, you know start a life and-"  
  
"Charlie." She cut in. "That reminds me, I've been meaning to talk to you about us moving in together."  
  
"Wait, I need to tell you something." Trip said, determined to get his words completely out before he lost his motivation.  
  
"Actually, I'll be done in just a sec. It's really important." She smoothly replied.  
  
"Fine." Trip sighed, "Ladies first."  
  
"Thank you." She smiled graciously. "We've been dating for a long time now."  
  
"Seven years, closing in on eight."  
  
"Right," Natalie acknowledged. "I feel like we've hit a plateau. Things just don't have the spice they used to."  
  
Trip looked at her in surprise, agreeing with every word that came out of her mouth.  
  
"Maybe it's time to reach for a new level. I want a family, a house," patting the seat next to her on the couch, she waited for Trip to settled down before placing her hand on his knee and continuing. "A husband."  
  
Warning bells sounded off in Trip's head and he was positive she was steering towards dangerous waters.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"What?" Trip asked, not realizing that she was expecting a reply from him. "Of course I want a family." He said slowly and carefully. "You know I do. I always have."  
  
Natalie nodded encouragingly for him to continue.  
  
"And I want a house." He plowed on, searching for the words to satisfy her. "A wife?" He cautiously added.  
  
Natalie smiled up at him in delight while Trip gave her a wary grin in return. "I'm glad you feel that way- and yes."  
  
"Yes what?" Trip asked in confusion.  
  
"Yes I'll be your wife." She answered.  
  
"Wife?" Trip asked again. "Wait a minute. How, no wait, I mean what, though I do love you but-"  
  
Natalie paid no heed to Trip and snuggled against his side. "Stop teasing." She retorted playfully with her eyes closed. "I love you Charlie."  
  
"I love you too Natalie but-" Trip paused and looked down at the girl lying next to him.  
  
"But what hon?" She murmured, still resting against his arm.  
  
"Nothin' I guess." He answered.  
  
"Okay." Opening her eyes she slowly got up off Trip, yawning she stretched her arms towards the ceiling. "Hey I'm going to go to bed. I was up pretty late and didn't get much sleep. You going to join me?"  
  
"Nah, I'm just gonna sit around here for a little while." He answered from the couch.  
  
"Go," he waved his hand. "Get some rest."  
  
"Right. Night Charlie."  
  
"Night."  
  
Trip watched Natalie walk towards her bedroom door and disappear from sight. Leaning his head back on the couch he stared at the ceiling and started to berate himself. Great he thought. How did this happen? What was he going to do? Oh shit he groaned. What was he going to tell Hoshi? Wait a minute, he asked himself. Why was he worried about what he was going to tell Hoshi?  
  
*************************  
  
"You're engaged?"  
  
"Er, yeah."  
  
"Congratulations?" Hoshi replied looking at him strangely. "Trip- don't you think this is a little sudden?"  
  
"We've been dating for a long time. It's what comes next right?" He said defensively.  
  
"Last time I talked to you weren't you supposed to go tell Natalie how you felt about moving in with her. What happened?"  
  
"Honestly?" Trip asked. "I don't know. I come in through the door all determined to tell her what I feel and bam." He smacked his hands together for emphasis. "Five minutes later we're getting married."  
  
"And that doesn't strike you as sudden?" Hoshi questioned.  
  
"I don't know anything anymore." He sighed. "I love her and we've been together for a long time. I'm doing the right thing, right?" He looked at Hoshi hopefully for some type of confirmation.  
  
Hoshi held her hands out in alarm. "You're on your own." She replied. "That's the kind of life altering decision I don't want to have on my head."  
  
"I just wish I knew what to do. On one hand I love her. I really do." Hoshi stood there waiting for him to continue. "But I've been waiting my whole life to explore. Marriage, family- it's going to end that."  
  
"I guess you have to decide if it's worth it." Hoshi carefully answered.  
  
"So much is riding on my decision."  
  
Hoshi shrugged. "Mistakes can be corrected. That's what the delete button is for."  
  
"Thanks, that made me feel so much better." Trip drawled.  
  
"Sorry. I can't think of anything else to say." Trip gave her a pathetic expression forcing her to sigh and continue. "Do you love Natalie? I mean, do you really love Natalie?"  
  
"Yes." He shot out automatically.  
  
"Then it really shouldn't be so hard for you to decide." A beep sounded and Hoshi looked up at the lift. "I'm going up, you?"  
  
"Actually, I'm that way." Trip pointed to the opposite direction.  
  
"Keeping me company?" Hoshi questioned. "How very diplomatic of you."  
  
Trip pasted a half-hearted grin on his face as Hoshi stepped inside the empty lift.  
  
"Hey." Trip looked up to when he heard Hoshi's voice. "What's meant to be will be. Life's short; esleik sletrei." Giving him a cheerful grin the lift doors shut together, leaving Trip alone to ponder.  
  
*********************************  
  
"I swear Hoshi, I will sit outside your door for the rest of my life if I have to." Jason called through the firmly shut and locked door. "I'm not going to leave." Sitting in front of the door he began to loudly hum a song that he knew Hoshi particularly abhorred since childhood. After five minutes Jason heard the whoosh of the doors opening.  
  
"Anything," Her voice thundered from above, "anything," she continued, "anything but that."  
  
Jason stood up and grinned, sticking his right arm out to present her with a bouquet of red roses. "Just friends." He quickly said as he saw her eye the flowers suspiciously. "We started out as friends, I'm not asking for anything more."  
  
"Not like I would want to be anything more." She muttered as she moved aside to let him in her apartment.  
  
"I know." He answered.  
  
"Why are you here?" Hoshi asked bluntly, refusing to be drawn into meaningless chitchat.  
  
"I miss you." He honestly replied. "We used to be good friends."  
  
"Used to." Hoshi countered.  
  
"I really fucked up didn't I?"  
  
Instead of replying with a sharp retort, Hoshi did the unexpected and looked at Jason with regret. "Yeah, you did."  
  
"I'm sorry." He sincerely replied.  
  
"What took you so long?"  
  
"Pride? Stupidity? Take your pick."  
  
"Let's pick stupidity."  
  
"That sounds fair." He agreed.  
  
"I always knew you were slow. But even this..."  
  
Jason smiled at her familiar teasing. "I know, I was really, really stupid. Does this mean you forgive me?"  
  
"I don't know." She answered back, shaking her head in mock sadness. "You did start singing that song. That was truly unforgivable."  
  
Getting on his knees in front of her, he clasped his hands together and looked up with puppy dog eyes. "I swear another note of that song will never pass these lips again."  
  
She looked down at him thoughtfully. "You're lucky we have a long history together and the friend in me already forgave you long ago."  
  
Jason grinned. "I swear, I'll never forget the day I met you. I knew you were going to play an integral part in my life after that day. You nearly gave me a heart attack when you yelled at me in Chinese to back off."  
  
"Hey you were the one talking about me in Chinese." Hoshi protested. "Yeah, but you weren't supposed to understand."  
  
"Right, that makes it much better." She retorted. "Get off your knees you dork." She replied, trying to ignore his pleading look.  
  
Jason got up and stood awkwardly in front of her.  
  
"Now what?"  
  
"Can I give you a hug?"  
  
"First you tell me what stupid thing you were trying to pull when you brought that ring."  
  
"Can we also chalk that off to my stupidity?" He asked hopefully.  
  
Hoshi advanced on him threateningly before breaking into a silly grin and throwing her arms around his neck. "I forgive you. But if you ever do anything like that again," She threatened.  
  
"Don't worry," Jason replied, encircling his arms around her waist, pressing her tightly to him. "If I ever hurt you in anyway ever again, I'll kick my own ass."  
  
After several minutes in silence, relishing the comfort they found in each other's familiar embrace, Hoshi pushed back slightly to look up at him.  
  
"I know I forgave you, but you're going to have to let me go now. I have to work for a living."  
  
Releasing her, Hoshi walked to her closet and opened it, pulling out her Starfleet uniform. "We can get together after my shift. Where are you staying?" While waiting for his response, she looked around turning to face Jason.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Turn around."  
  
He sighed then turned around. Stripping to put her uniform on she continued. "So where are you staying?" She asked when she finished, wondering why he didn't answer.  
  
"You can turn around now." Turning around to face her, Jason grinned sheepishly.  
  
"I figured I would be sleeping outside your door for the next few days."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well I thought it was going to take a little longer to get back into your good graces. Not that I'm complaining." He quickly added. "Did I mention I really missed you?"  
  
Hoshi rolled her eyes. "Some things never change. You'll never plan things in advance will you?"  
  
"I did." He protested. "I was going to spend the next few days groveling outside of your door."  
  
"Fine. You can stay here." Jason's face lighted up like a kid in a candy store and Hoshi mentally sighed, wondering what she got herself into. "But you're sleeping on the couch."  
  
"No problem." He answered.  
  
"I'm leaving now." Looking at the clock she quickened her pace. "And I'm late." Giving Jason a friendly glare she grabbed several padds and nearly ran to the door. "Don't mess anything up." She called out while Jason looked around himself at her quarters. "And don't go through my stuff." She yelled out as an afterthought. Giving him a grin she disappeared out of sight.  
  
"Damn." He replied to the empty room. "What am I supposed to do for fun?"  
  
*************************************  
  
Trip walked to Hoshi's quarter's hoping she hadn't left yet. The conversation he had with her yesterday left him in a loop, and he wanted to talk to her. Somehow she never failed to make him feel better. Waiting impatiently he sighed in relief when he heard the footsteps coming towards the door.  
  
"Hey Hosh-" Trip called out before the doors fully opened, pausing in confusion when the person in front of him was revealed. Looking at Jason his brows knitted and he asked with a touch of hostility, "What are you doing here?"  
  
Jason shrugged nonchalantly. "Nowhere to go. Hoshi invited me to stay with her." He ended his sentence giving Trip an infuriating grin. "Did you need something?"  
  
"Where's Hoshi?" He responded gruffly, trying to quench the seed of jealousy from taking root in his stomach.  
  
"She just left." Jason answered. "Should I tell her you stopped by when she gets back. Maybe take a message?" He asked.  
  
"That's okay." Trip ground out between his teeth. "I'll see her later today."  
  
"I'm not sure about that." Jason cut in, flashing Trip a smirk. "We're supposed to go out after she finishes today. You know, catch up on old times."  
  
Trip wondered how angry Hoshi would be at him if he were to just knock that self-satisfied smirk off of her 'ex'-boyfriend's face. Trying to push down the unusual violent tendencies down, he stiffly turned around to go.  
  
"Hey, what's Hoshi to you?" Jason called out.  
  
"Excuse me?" Trip asked incredulously.  
  
"Girlfriend? Friend? Friend with privileges?" His voice lingered in the air.  
  
"Friends with privileges?" He repeated in disbelief. "I don't know where you're getting these ideas, but I'm happily engaged." Liar! his inner voice called out to him.  
  
"Whatever." Jason answered. "I saw how you looked at her. Now I've known Hoshi much longer than you. And I really don't care who you're marrying, but if you hurt her..." His voice trailed off.  
  
"Why would I hurt her?" Trip asked venomously, "When you've already done such a fine job."  
  
Jason's eyes glinted dangerously. Both stared at each other, each unwilling to back down.  
  
"Hey I forgot a pa-" A voice called out, Hoshi paused when she saw Trip in front of her door. "Trip, hey." He didn't answer and she noticed Jason standing in front of Trip.  
  
"What's going on here?" She demanded when she saw the open hostility between the two.  
  
"I'm just leaving." Trip spoke up.  
  
"Wait, Trip, did you need something..." Her voice trailed off as she watched Trip stride off. Slowly she turned around to give Jason a death glare.  
  
"Are you trying to make my life difficult?" Hoshi seethed as soon as she stepped in her quarters with Jason and the door shut.  
  
"What?" He asked innocently.  
  
"Trip. What did you say to him?" She demanded.  
  
"Oh him?"  
  
Hoshi gave him a murderous glare. "You are so getting kicked out of my room." She warned.  
  
"I'm sorry." Jason replied. "We went out for a long time, I've known you even longer. It's hard for me to turn off my protective instincts."  
  
"Try harder." She hissed. "You are back in my life for twenty minutes and already you're wreaking havoc."  
  
"Come on, be fair. I wouldn't say wreaking havoc."  
  
Hoshi gave him a look.  
  
"Look I didn't mean to provoke Tucker."  
  
Hoshi gave him another look.  
  
"Okay so I did mean to provoke Tucker. But that's just because I don't like him." He paused. "I'm just watching out for you."  
  
Hoshi shook her head. "You are such a pain in the ass."  
  
"So," Jason asked. "What's going on between you two?"  
  
"We're just friends." She automatically chanted, as though this was a saying she was used to repeating.  
  
"Hoshi." He didn't continue until she turned to give him an exasperated stare. "We were just friends."  
  
"Yeah, and we never should have been more then friends." She retorted. Jason looked at her in surprise.  
  
"Yes." She answered. "One day I woke up and realized that we made good friends. Nothing more. It was the expectations of others assuming that someday we would get together because we were close that led us hand in hand. But there was no spark. Nothing to work with but friendship."  
  
"Wait, you knew?"  
  
"I'm not an idiot." Hoshi responded. "When you cheated on me I later realized it was because you didn't want to hurt me. That you knew way before I did that we weren't meant to be. What really hurt me was that you took so long to reintegrate yourself into my life. I really missed you."  
  
"Damn, I must be much dumber then I thought I was."  
  
Hoshi snorted. "Undoubtedly." She continued. "I've been wondering. Why did you come back with all that 'I knew you were the one' crap, when you knew that we should have never been anything more then friends."  
  
Jason shrugged. "I missed you too. I couldn't think of any way to get you to forgive me."  
  
"You could have came and said sorry." She pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, well like we said I'm an idiot. Finally I thought I would rather have you as my wife, then not have you in my life at all."  
  
"Nice." Hoshi answered. "I really like how you were thinking about my future happiness."  
  
"Hey," He protested. "I would have made a good husband. Anyways, back to the original point. You and Tucker don't seem to be missing that 'spark', as you put it."  
  
"Really." Hoshi argued. "We're just friends."  
  
"Sure." He answered, not convinced at all.  
  
*****************************  
  
"I think you're making a mistake."  
  
Hoshi turned around from the console she was working at, "Trip." She exclaimed. "I've been looking for you."  
  
"He's not right for you." He continued stubbornly, refusing to be derailed.  
  
"Trip I have work I need to do." She cut in regretfully. "That and I think I have an idea of what you're talking about and you are so wrong I don't even want to talk about it right now." She babbled. "Right." She continued as she saw the look on Trip's face. "I'm not really sure of what I'm talking about either."  
  
Trip shook the confused look off his face and was about to continue, "Hosh- "  
  
"Tri-"  
  
"Professor Sato." Trip and Hoshi both turned at the interruption in their conversation to face the young ensign that approached Hoshi. "I finished the schematics you wanted me to go through." He looked back and forth the head engineer and linguist, gulping nervously when he realized he had interrupted something. "Er, but I could take another look at it and come back later."  
  
"Yeah that would be nic-"  
  
"That's oka-"  
  
The ensign's eyes darted back and forth like a rabbit, unsure of what to do when both of them spoke at the same time, each contradicting the other.  
  
"Here, let me take a look at the padds." Hoshi asked, taking pity on the young man.  
  
Thankfully he relinquished his padds and scuttled away, relieved to be far away from his arguing superiors.  
  
"I really need to look this over Trip." Hoshi apologized. "Can we talk later?"  
  
"What time will you be done?"  
  
"You want to talk tonight?"  
  
Trip nodded.  
  
Hoshi tiredly rubbed her temples with her left hand, looking down at the data padd in the right. "Give me two hours."  
  
"I'll meet you outside at the fountain in front of the west entrance."  
  
"The flying starship?" She asked, a tinge of amusement creeping into her voice.  
  
"Yeah." He answered with a grin. "That one."  
  
"Alright." She gave him a small smile before forcing all of her attention back to the console in front of her. 


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5  
  
Hoshi slowly made her way outside, smiling a little to herself when she remembered how lost she had gotten that one day. Walking through the glass doors she nodded to security and continued on her way. It was dark outside, the night air had become chilly and Hoshi shivered, wondering if she should head back to her quarters to get a jacket. About to do so, she saw a solitary figure sitting on the cement edge of the lighted fountain. Changing her mind she silently walked towards him. When she reached him she found him deep in thought. Sitting quietly next to him, she let the silence linger and concentrated on the sound of running water behind her.  
  
"The stars are beautiful."  
  
Hoshi smiled and tilted her head to the sky to look at the twinkling pin points of light.  
  
"My parents own several acres in the South. When I was young, at night I used to lie in the field out in the back of the house and just stare at the stars. I always knew that I wanted to be out there someday. Something new, an adventure."  
  
Hoshi smiled to herself. "Cowboy at heart?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"See that star over there?" Trip asked, pointing to the North slightly. "Six months ago I was on the Enterprise exploring that section of space." His voice became glum. "Am I going to spend the rest of my life with my feet on the ground? Wondering what could have been?"  
  
"You've been out in space Trip." She tried to console him.  
  
"I still wonder what could have been." Trip looked at Hoshi from the corner of his eye. "Between you and me."  
  
Hoshi smiled wistfully. "I guess some things just aren't meant to be."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"You asked me if it was worth it, to give up space for Natalie. For the past few days this was the only thing I could think about. You're right, if I really loved her this should be an easy choice. I shouldn't be so torn between the two." He turned his head to the side to look at Hoshi. "This is anything but easy when it comes to Natalie. But I started thinking about you, and then I'm sure I wouldn't mind spending the next five years of my life on earth with you."  
  
Hoshi held her breath nervously. "You're treading in dangerous waters. Don't say it today if you won't mean it tomorrow."  
  
Trip leaned in forward to kiss Hoshi.  
  
"No." Hoshi jumped out of her seat and stood up.  
  
He froze and moved back, giving her a forced smile. "It's too late?"  
  
Hoshi looked at him in confusion.  
  
"Jason."  
  
"Oh no. Not that again." Hoshi replied. "Jason and I are friends. That is all we should have been, that is all we will ever be forevermore. This isn't about Jason." She answered, using her hand to motion between Trip and herself. "It's just that," she paused trying to find the appropriate words. "You're confused. At a cross road and you don't really know what you want. If something were to happen between us, I would want you to think about it first. I don't want to be an afterthought."  
  
Trip stood up. "You're right. I'm sorry." Giving Hoshi a small peck on her forehead, he turned and walked away, leaving her alone in the darkness to stare at the stars alone.  
  
"I'm always right." She said aloud when he was gone, a trace of bitterness in her voice.  
  
She took her time outside, her head faced to the heavens above to admire the lights Trip held so dear. The faint sound of footsteps grew towards her and she turned to face the intruder, only to find herself suddenly in a lip lock with Trip.  
  
He pulled away after they both ran out of air, keeping both hands on the side of her face to gaze intently into her eyes.  
  
"I thought you were going to go think about it." Hoshi responded breathlessly, trying not to drown in the blue orbs of his eyes.  
  
The corners of his mouth twitched up. "I did." Leaning down he drew Hoshi into another mind numbing kiss.  
  
**************************************  
  
Jason eyed Hoshi suspiciously as she made the final touches to her appearance. It had been several days since the 'kiss' and she was still glowing with happiness. With the translator in its final phase, Hoshi and Trip hadn't had enough personal time to establish a relationship and were still on shaky ground but... Hoshi smiled to herself once again.  
  
"Is it possible to be too happy?" Jason questioned from Hoshi's couch, watching her get ready for the dinner party hosted for the people involved with the translator.  
  
Hoshi only smiled giddily at him in response. Now that it was finally completed, she would get some personal time with Trip.  
  
"See now you're scaring me." He called out.  
  
Hoshi smacked him playfully on the shoulder, as she walked past him to gather her things. "You sure you don't want to come with me?" She asked once again.  
  
"Gee." Jason replied sarcastically. "A dinner party filled with engineers, linguists, and science officers. Please, stop me."  
  
Hoshi rolled her eyes. "Hey, I'm the head linguist."  
  
He rolled onto his side on the couch, giving her a sickeningly sweet grin. "And I adore you."  
  
"Which is why I forgive you." She replied cheerfully.  
  
"You're really frightening me now." He answered back, his eyes narrowed. "Really, what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing." She hummed to herself as she gave herself one last glance in the mirror. "I'm just happy." She looked at him through the reflection of the mirror. "How do I look?"  
  
"You're always beautiful."  
  
Hoshi walked to Jason and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. "Thanks. I'll see you later."  
  
Jason watched Hoshi sashay to the door. "Hey," he called out to her departing figure, "don't stay out to late."  
  
She turned for a second to give him a cheeky grin before disappearing behind the closing doors.  
  
**********************************  
  
"Hoshi."  
  
Hoshi turned around to face Admiral Spencer. "Hello Admiral." She replied.  
  
"Congratulations. I'm hearing very good things about the translator."  
  
Hoshi smiled, "Thank you admiral, I did my best."  
  
"So, about your future career in Starfleet..." He slyly added. "The Enterprise is in need of a linguist with your ear."  
  
"Is there something wrong with Brandon?" Hoshi asked with concern.  
  
"Some people aren't cut out for space." He answered. "I was contacted by Jonathan Archer yesterday, apparently after a bad experience, Ensign Wells has resigned his post. Officially, Starfleet will be recruiting next week for replacements, but personally I'd like to skip that process and go straight to the best." He looked at Hoshi straight in the eyes. "It would save a lot of time. And with Commander Tucker leaving-"  
  
"Wait?" She interrupted in surprise. "Tri-I mean Commander Tucker is leaving the Enterprise?"  
  
"Yes, he gave me notice of his resignation two days ago. From what he told me, he plans to get married within the next two months to his long time girlfriend. Happy day for him, a shame for the Enterprise. He's a good engineer. It's going to be hard to find someone with his talent."  
  
"Yeah." Hoshi replied listlessly. Standing with Spencer, she half-heartedly listened to him continue his propaganda of the virtues of Starfleet. Nodding when appropriate, her mind was in a completely different dimension. Two days ago she questioned herself, but that was after the kiss.  
  
*****************************  
  
She didn't quite remember how the rest of the night passed by, but she did recollect asking one of the engineers where Trip was. No one knew and he never showed up. Coward Hoshi thought to herself, angrily walking towards her quarters.  
  
"Come on Jason." Hoshi's voice thundered as she entered her room.  
  
"What? Where?" He asked disorientated, getting up from the couch in a pair of sweat shorts and shirt. "I was sleeping." He whined.  
  
"Not anymore." She cut in. "You're going to take me drinking."  
  
"What?" Jason groaned. "No, I don't want to take you."  
  
"You have no choice, let's go." Looking down at his attire she continued. "Are you going to change or are you going to wear that? Either way I don't care as long as I have someone paying for my shots."  
  
"Can't I just give you money?" He asked hopefully.  
  
"No, you have to come with me to make sure I don't do anything stupid." Hoshi reiterated. "You know how I get when I'm drunk."  
  
"Yes, yes I do." He replied. "Why do you think I don't want to go?"  
  
"Hurry up, get dressed." She shot back.  
  
"Fine, fine." He looked at Hoshi pointedly.  
  
"What?" She asked.  
  
"Turn around."  
  
Hoshi rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you."  
  
"Hey if I have to turn when you change, you have to turn when I strip. It's only fair. Unless..." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.  
  
Hoshi shuddered. "I'm turning around now."  
  
"Your loss." He shrugged. Quickly he changed and walked towards her. "Can't we just stay here and play Scrabble, drinking hot apple cider?"  
  
"Do you have your wallet?" She asked, ignoring him.  
  
"Yeah, right here." He grumbled, pulling out a small leather object from his pocket.  
  
"Alright, let's go." She answered, dragging him out of the room.  
  
"What happened Hoshi?" He asked cautiously. "You know, just so I know how much I'm going to be down by the time this night is over."  
  
"Nothing." She answered sharply. "I just feel like drinking. Now hurry up let's go."  
  
Jason sighed while following the retreating figure of Hoshi.  
  
*********************************  
  
"Hey, how come these glasses ish empty?" Hoshi slurred across the bar.  
  
"Because you drank the alcohol in them." Jason moaned as he tried to give the bartender an apologetic look. "Come on Hoshi, I think you've had enough."  
  
"No." She cried out. "More, I'm still sober." The bartender shrugged helplessly at Jason and poured Hoshi more shots. Hoshi looked at Jason. "Hey, how come you're not drinking?" She slurred, trying to focus on his face.  
  
"I don't want to drink." He answered back sourly.  
  
"Fine, more for me." Picking up the shot glass she lifted her head and downed another mouthful of vodka.  
  
Nursing the now empty glass in her hands, Jason watched her study the glass carefully.  
  
"Did you know he kissed me?" She asked, still looking at the cup.  
  
"The cup?" Jason replied, wondering how drunk Hoshi actually was.  
  
"No you dumbass," She shot her head to the side to glare at him. "Trip."  
  
"Ah, I see." Suddenly everything was very clear to Jason.  
  
"I told him not to. Not until he was sure ... did I tell you he kissed me?" She repeated, oblivious to Jason and still talking to the glass in her hand.  
  
Jason nodded.  
  
"Is there something wrong with me?" She demanded. "Something that makes all the guys I'm interested run to other people?"  
  
"No." Jason replied tiredly, gently taking the glass out of her hand. "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you."  
  
She looked at him sadly. "Then why didn't Trip want me? Why didn't you want me?"  
  
"I thought we covered this already." Jason answered. "I was really, really stupid."  
  
"Yeah," she giggled. "You were. But what about Trip?" She pouted.  
  
"He's also stupid? All men are stupid? Who knows."  
  
"Not me." She hiccupped.  
  
"I thought you said you and Tucker were just friends." Jason probed, deciding what the hell, if he was going to sit here and pay for her drinks he might as well pry through her life.  
  
Hoshi let her chin drop to her chest, lifting it in a feeble attempt of a nod. "Yup, friends."  
  
"Then why did he kiss you?"  
  
She lifted her head at him in confusion. "We're really good friends?" She asked.  
  
"Right." Jason answered. "Hoshi, how do you feel about Tucker?"  
  
"Trip." She mumbled. "His name is Trip."  
  
"Hoshi..."  
  
"I dunno." She sighed in exasperation. "He's a good man."  
  
"What's so great about him?"  
  
Hoshi looked at Jason and blinked slowly, trying to think of what she liked best about Trip. Slowly the corners of her mouth lifted as she thought of him. "He makes me smile."  
  
Jason studied Hoshi and gave her a small smile in return. "You know I love you right?" He asked playfully. "Hoshi?"  
  
"I don't feel too good." She moaned, clutching her mouth.  
  
"Oh shit." Quickly Jason dragged Hoshi to the bathroom where she paid homage to the white porcelain God. Holding her hair back he wrinkled his nose when she was through.  
  
Dropping her head back, Hoshi fell against the stall door with her eyes closed.  
  
"Hoshi," Jason called out, gently shaking her shoulders. "Hoshi."  
  
"Leave me alone." She gurgled. "Go away." She called out irritated, shrugging her shoulders as Jason continued to shake her. "I just want to sleep. Let me sleep."  
  
Jason rolled his eyes. "That's what I said three hours ago," he replied dryly. "Come on, let's go." Lifting her up gently in his arms, he carried her out of the bar.  
  
"Owwwwww." Hoshi groaned as she woke up with a blinding headache. Opening her eyes she shielded her face from the sun and tried to remember how she ended up here.  
  
"Good morning sunshine." Someone replied perkily as they entered the room, flicking a switch on and flooding the room with light. Hoshi threw the blanket over her head and tried to keep still, every single movement she made seemed to aggravate her headache only more.  
  
Jason tugged the blanket off of her and let it fly in the air. "You must have a really bad hangover." He chuckled with mirth, watching her wince in pain. "Lucky for you I'm a very kind soul. I brought your water and aspirin."  
  
"Put on table and leave." She uttered, her voice muffled from the pillow.  
  
"Sorry, you made me suffer yesterday and now it's your turn. Up you go." Gently he leaned down and sat her up, resting her back against the wall. "Here," holding out a small white pill, he waited for her to take it before bringing the cup to her mouth. Waving his hand away, she took the glass herself and drank.  
  
"Ugh." She felt slightly vitalized as she felt the cool water make its way down her parched throat. "How much did I drink?" She whispered, her eyes still closed.  
  
Jason began to laugh.  
  
"That much?" Cautiously she opened her eyes, trying to slowly adjust to the bright light surrounding her.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"Not so good." She answered back weakly.  
  
"Now." He continued, sitting down sideways on the bed beside her. "Are you going to tell me why you're here?"  
  
Hoshi slowly rolled her head slightly to look at Jason in confusion. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Why are you with me instead of Trip?" He persisted.  
  
Hoshi groaned. "Exactly what did I say while I was drunk." She asked.  
  
Jason gave her an evil grin. "Enough."  
  
"Then you already know why." She retorted in a smart tone.  
  
"Well, everything but that. You told me you guys made out on your flo-"  
  
"Desist your torture." Hoshi cut in. "I'll tell you what you want to hear."  
  
He gave her self-satisfied smirk. "Continue."  
  
"I just, I don't know what to do. I care about Trip, much more then I realized." She whispered. "He's getting married. After-"  
  
"After you guys had your 'moment'?" questioned Jason. "Yeah, you told me that while I was dragging your ass down the hallway." A hint of pink crept over her cheeks as Jason continued. "Just admit it. You really like the idiot."  
  
Hoshi opened her mouth quickly to vehemently deny the accusation, unable to get a word in as Jason ignored her and went on.  
  
"You can't lie to me, I know you too well. I see your face light up whenever he's mentioned or you talk about him." Sitting next to her on the bed, he took her hand between his own. "Look, I don't know everything that's going on between you two. And I don't know why he's marrying that other girl, but it's obvious he has feelings for you."  
  
"How do you know?" She asked petulantly.  
  
Jason smiled at her. "I know. Now get up and go find him." He looked at her critically and amended his sentence, "Never mind, first take a shower, then go look for him. I love you Hoshi, but you kind of smell."  
  
Bursting into a giggle, Hoshi flung her arms around Jason's neck and held him close. "I love you too." Bouncing off the bed, she remembered the hangover and winced as her forehead began to throb.  
  
"Maybe you should take it a little slow smart guy." Suggested Jason.  
  
"Shut up." Was the reply he got after she slammed the bathroom door shut. Sitting on her bed, Jason looked at where she had been last standing and smiled.  
  
*************************************  
  
"Commander Tucker?" A blonde hair ensign stopped Trip on his way to his quarters.  
  
"Am I needed somewhere?" Trip asked, when he recognized her as an engineer that had worked beneath him.  
  
"Professor Sato showed up in engineering several hours ago. She was looking for you." She answered. "I saw you and thought I would let you know."  
  
Crap Trip cursed in his head. "Do you know where she went?"  
  
"I'm sorry sir." She replied. "I may have heard her say something about packing."  
  
"Thank you ensign." He answered quickly, taking long strides to the direction opposite of her quarters.  
  
"You." A voice called after him.  
  
Trip slowly turned around to face a furious Hoshi.  
  
"Do you know how long I have been looking for you?" She demanded, quickening her pace to reach him. "Suddenly you are very hard man to find Commander."  
  
"Hoshi."  
  
"I'm not going to discuss this with you here." She gestured to the Starfleet personnel bustling about them. "Your quarters are closer then mine. Let's go."  
  
"Hoshi-"  
  
"Trip, I need to talk to you okay. You owe me an explanation." She pleaded. "At least that."  
  
He looked at her in guilt, recognizing the truth in her words. An explanation was the only thing he could give her. "Follow me."  
  
Hoshi nodded and walked along side him to his quarters.  
  
They entered together and stood in silence, each unsure of what to say.  
  
"I had a speech." She announced, looking at him and shrugging her shoulders. "Of what I was going to say when I found you. I was going to tell you how much you pissed me off. Lucky for you I didn't find you right away. I'm not angry anymore. Now, I just want to tell you I care."  
  
Trip refused to meet her eyes.  
  
"It's your fault." She stated. "Do you know that? It's your fault that I fell for you. I was doing fine, and then you walk in through my door and kiss me. You tell me that you could fall in love with me." A sad smile graced her lips despite the pain in her eyes. "And then you're back with her."  
  
"Hoshi-"  
  
"No. I'm not finished." She cut in. "I know you made up your mind, but I never got to tell you what I feel before you made your choice. I like you Trip. I've liked you, and if you marry Natalie I'll still like you." She finished. Trip kept his gaze averted, unable to respond.  
  
"Right." She nodded. "Congratulations."  
  
Before she left Trip forced himself to speak. "It's not about what I want anymore."  
  
Closing his eyes he took a deep breath to steady his voice and continued. "I'm going to be a daddy."  
  
Hoshi looked at Trip in disbelief, trying to process the information he had just leaked.  
  
"What?" She uttered.  
  
Trip gave Hoshi a grim smile. "Natalie told me the happy news a week ago."  
  
Hoshi began to piece together Trip's odd behavior, a whole picture forming to give her a new understanding. "I shouldn't be here."  
  
She muttered. "I'm sorry for coming here and, you know..." Without waiting for his reply she quickly walked off, unable to give him a second glance.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Hoshi looked down at the boxes around her quarters. It was amazing how many things she had to pack now, compared to when she had arrived several months ago equipped with only the raw essentials.  
  
Listlessly she looked around her quarters. She had stripped the walls of her personal belongings several days ago. It made her room look cold and barren. A depressing place for a depressed woman, she thought to herself. The sound of her doorbell cut through the thick silence.  
  
"I told you Jason, I don't want to go out tonight." She said as her door began to open.  
  
"Trip." She faltered, when she saw the haggard man just outside her open door.  
  
"Can I come in?"  
  
"Yeah." She replied after she had recovered from the shock of  
  
seeing him. "Sit," she looked around her empty room, "anywhere."  
  
Trip remained standing, his haunted eyes penetrating to Hoshi's soul. "I love you Hoshi." He confessed. "I knew it when I turned around and saw you standing there with your head tilted up to the sky to look at the stars. I chose then, and I told myself wherever I would be, space or earth, I would be a happy man because I would be with you."  
  
A lump formed in Hoshi's throat.  
  
"Natalie having my baby makes things different, but it doesn't change what I feel for you. If you want, despite everything, I would be with you if you'd have me."  
  
Hoshi forced herself to answer. "I want us to be friends." Her voice weak, became stronger and filled with conviction after each word. "I want you to go home to the woman who is going to have your baby and I want you to be the best father you can be."  
  
Trip looked as though he wanted to protest, but remained silent.  
  
"People like Natalie, you love them for so long, your heart will never really stop loving them. Love the baby, love the mother. Be happy."  
  
A flash of pain crept through Trip's face. "Is that what you want?"  
  
Hoshi exhaled slowly. "Like you said, it's not really about what anyone wants anymore, is it?" She answered. "Go home Trip. You have someone waiting for you."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"So am I."  
  
**************************************  
  
"What are you going to do now?"  
  
Hoshi smiled and shrugged. "I'm not sure. The same thing when we  
  
broke up I guess."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Continue with life. Try to forget."  
  
"Did it work?"  
  
"Not at first." She replied. "But if I give it time." She continued doubtfully.  
  
"I think you should take the job offer."  
  
"What job offer?" Hoshi asked in confusion.  
  
Jason looked guilty. "I saw the message you received earlier. It was on your desk and I accidentally read it."  
  
Hoshi lifted an eye doubtfully at the word 'accidentally'.  
  
"You should go on the Enterprise."  
  
Hoshi sat silently, for the first time considering that a possibility.  
  
"I know that you didn't go when they first offered you the post because you didn't want to leave me. I still feel bad about that, I should have forced you to go. So I'm going to do what I should have done then. And I want you to know I wouldn't tell you to go just to ease my conscious, God knows how much I want you close by."  
  
"But?"  
  
"But I think it would be best for you. Go to your first love."  
  
"Space?" She asked dubiously.  
  
"No, you nut." He replied. "Languages. Space, the final-"  
  
"Frontier." Hoshi completed. "DÃ©jÃ  vu."  
  
"What?" Jason asked, now confused.  
  
"Nothing." She replied. "It just seems that my life keeps repeating itself over and over. Again and again. I'm stuck with the same beginning, the same ending."  
  
He shrugged. "End the cycle. Do something new. Come on, what was that crap you used to always say? Eslekey estray?"  
  
"Esleik sletrei." She automatically corrected.  
  
"Whatever." He replied, rolling his eyes as he always did whenever she corrected his pronunciation. "Live lif-."  
  
"I know what it means Jason."  
  
"Obviously," He retorted. "Will you let me finish?" She sat there silently with her arms crossed, waiting for him to continue. "I'm just reminding you. Life's short. Live it." He patted her head with a small smile.  
  
"Yeah." Hoshi replied. "I might do that."  
  
*************************************  
  
"And do you Charles Tucker the Third, take Natalie..." Trip zoned out as the preacher droned on, his mind wandering to far off places and a certain smiling female. "...so long as you shall live?"  
  
Trip studied Natalie closely, his eyes drawn down to her stomach, a small bulge barely visible. Taking a deep breath he looked up into her eyes and answered, "I do."  
  
*************************************  
  
Four weeks earlier  
  
"Just a minute." Hoshi called out as the door chime on her apartment rang. It had been a hectic week and packing all her things together to move back into her old apartment took longer then she thought it would. Opening her door she looked at her visitor.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
Trip stood outside her door and studied her carefully. "Take a walk with me?"  
  
"I don't know if that's a good idea." She hesitated.  
  
"Just one walk."  
  
"Alright. Let me get a jacket." Leaving the door open she walked towards her room. Trip nodded and stood in front of her door silently, waiting for her to come back. "Let's go." Reappearing with a sweater, she pulled it over her head as she made her way towards him.  
  
Outside the cold wind blew fiercely overhead. Hoshi huddled her arms into herself for warmth as they made their way silently around the block.  
  
"I just wish-" Trip started after a moment.  
  
"Don't dwell on it Trip. It'll only torture you."  
  
Trip nodded. "So that's it?"  
  
"Yeah, looks like it."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Hey, I thought we agreed. No more apologies."  
  
"Right... It doesn't stop me from feeling sorry."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You think, maybe after a while, I could contact you some time?"  
  
He asked hopefully.  
  
"Maybe it wouldn't be for the best." Hoshi replied doubtfully. "For now anyway."  
  
He was silent for several minutes after her reply. Looking down while he walked he continued, "I heard your joining Starfleet?"  
  
"The Enterprise." Hoshi answered. Trip didn't look surprised. Hoshi thought about her previous perception of space travel. "Brandon gave a four week notice. I'm heading off tomorrow to Starfleet training. They're giving me a compacted version of the training everyone goes through when they first join. I'm actually kind of looking forward to it."  
  
"I remember not too long ago the Enterprise was a tin bucket hurtling through space." Trip recollected fondly.  
  
Hoshi stood still, also remembering. "You know you never failed to make me smile." She commented.  
  
"I've failed in other things."  
  
"All forgiven."  
  
"I know." Trip stopped and turned to face Hoshi. "One last hug for an old friend?"  
  
She smiled, stepping into his embrace. Wearily Trip ran his fingers through her hair. "I could stay like this forever," he sighed.  
  
Silently Hoshi agreed.  
  
"I guess this is good-bye." He whispered in her ear.  
  
"Right." Slowly she untangled herself from his arms and took a step back. Turning around she began to walk away before she heard his voice.  
  
"Hey-"  
  
Hoshi tilted her head back to look at him.  
  
"I'm going to miss your smile."  
  
Giving him one last smile, she turned back and continued on her way.  
  
************************************  
  
"Not to question your judgment in any way but I'm curious." Archer asked after he welcomed Hoshi aboard the Enterprise. "What finally persuaded you to come aboard?"  
  
Hoshi gave Archer a wistful smile. "I guess I was tired of being stuck on earth."  
  
****************The End******************** 


End file.
